how to actually dress like yourself (not just trends)

Kalina wearing a fun and cool outfit she likes

Imagine this. You’re scrolling TikTok and you keep seeing this item of clothing that everyone is posting about and wearing. So you think I’m not sure I totally love this but I want buy it and see what the hype is about. Fast forward a few days it comes in the mail. You’re so excited to try it on so you rip it out of the package and scurry to go try it on. You put it on and look in the mirror. You’re filled with dissatisfaction. You think, “well it looked so cute on everyone online why doesn’t it look cute on me”? Then you might go down a deeper hole of where you aren’t good enough because you can't rock this fashion piece. Then you think, well I’ll keep it in case I decide I actually like it one day. Then that one day never rolls around, you're always reaching for other clothing items over that one. It’s just another clothing piece that sits in your closet untouched because you followed a trend. This is not your fault either because that is how consumerism is designed to work and so many people fall for it each day! You just need to discover how to dress how you want to without following the trends, let’s get into it.

Step 1: Who are you?

In today's modern society we have more style content than ever, but less clarity on our own style. You have to first start by figuring out who you are not just how you want to be seen. Grab a piece of paper and title it, ‘your names’ style discovery. Try and answer these questions; what do you do? how do you move through life? (vibrant and out going or more reserved perhaps?) what makes you feel most like yourself? what is your favorite thing about yourself and does it show up in your style? are there any people you take inspiration from? Start to write out these questions with your answers to deep dive more into who you are and how you’d like to express yourself. I like to skate and snowboard so I like to wear a lot of baggy attire, but I also like to mix my baggy style with more feminine cute tops and some cute accessories to elevated my outfits more, so I am like cute bummy chic style haha.

Step 2: Audit your closet for what you actually reach for

My style changes as I go through different phases of life and as I learn more about myself and what I like, therefore my closet changes too. I’m sure you feel the same you may collect more items from one era and some clothes you just really aren’t feeling anymore and that is why you’re gonna do a closet clean out. What items do you wear on repeat? Keep those items duhh. What items do you avoid even though it’s technically a nice piece? Get rid of those. I know you’ve looked at an item you kind of like and think I am saving it for this on specific scenario but you haven’t touched it in years, it would be good to get rid of that too. I like to get rid of clothes that I have not worn in 8 months. I know it seems like a long time but seasons change, you change and some pieces I still enjoy and some I just don’t. Plus it feels so nice to declutter and start fresh and if you donate some clothes your old pieces become new and loved to them and what's better than that!?

Step 3: Stop saving Pinterest pins for an imaginary version of you

Do you even look at outfit inspiration and you save certain things for when ‘you're more confident’, or ‘when you lose a few pounds’. I’ve done this and while it could be good inspiration to help motivate you often times the pins just sit there because you still don’t feel confident for it yet or you still haven't lost the weight you wanted to, to fit into something and the time keeps passing. I think it’s best to get inspiration for things you love RIGHT NOW, because that’s where you are in this moment. Try and use your inspiration photos to get a feel of an image and vibe, not the exact outfit because then you can put your own personal style twist on it. Try to lessen the gap of who you are and who you dress like. I’ve taken an outfit inspo from a page and dressed pretty similar but when I had the outfit on it didn’t fully feel like me so I put my personal style twist on it and loved it.

Step 4: Build around a few words, not a full aesthetic

Earlier I said I like to describe my style as cute bummy chic, where I like to swear baggy attire mixed with cute girly tops and some fun accessories. So therefore I’m dabbling into multiple aesthetics like clean girl, y2k, and street style. But the aesthetics are more of a category not really your identity or maybe it is idk, whatever works for you! I’d pick out 3-5 words that describes how you want to feel in your clothes. Use these words to help you with future purchases or outfit decisions. My 3-5 words would be cool, confident, comfy, and effortless.

Step 5: Let your style evolve without it feeling like a crisis

Style changes as you change, that’s the whole point! The way you dress expresses who you are, if you’re still wearing your old outfits just because you think it’s part of your identity is a sign that you are changing and evolving and your style should too or else you won’t fully feel like you. Try different things, dress out of your comfort zone. If you don’t like it guess what you never have to wear it again! Be wrong, adjust your style, just don’t settle for things you half like.

Trends will always exist, but no trend will tell you who you are. I want to also mention that trends aren’t bad some are a form of inspiration for people, my post is to share how to start dressing more like you and feeling confident with your style and who you are. Trends can also be a transitional period to help discover more of what you like. Don’t just follow trends because everyone else is and that's what you feel like you should be doing too. Style is about trial and error and wear what you want, when you want, how you want because it’s you and it’s not how other people want you to dress. It’s your life so start dressing like it!